My Crazy Phantom
by Phantom Sin
Summary: Groomed to be king of the throne that backfires on him. Watch him struggle through the difficult choices he has to make. Here are his thoughts.
1. Chapter 1: My Crazy Phantom

**AN:** Hey, back again lol. Same with this, it's open to interpretation. Hope you enjoy!

 **Disclaimer:** In no way do I own HP that right is to J.K *smile* Ta ta!

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My Crazy Phantom

 **~o0o~**

How is this possible? This dream. This crazy phantom. Why can't I escape it? Why does it follow me around? Taunting me, tormenting me. Am I not human? Do I not make mistakes? Is it so easy to be that good?

Why can't I fight this? Why is it so hard? Why am I feeling like this? Why do I feel like this crazy phantom won't leave me alone? I am scared. I am worried. I hate that it is chasing me, forcing me to break and look back. But I can't because if I do I don't think I'll be able to go forward anymore or ever again.

Is there a way I won't feel so alone? Is there a way I can stop this? Could I make this crazy phantom go away? I don't like this. This feeling of losing. It makes me anxious and discontent. Is there a way this will ever get better? A way I won't feel so angry and bitter.

How can I get rid of this crazy phantom that's been following me around everywhere I go, giving me pain and nothing in return. Will I ever be free of this crazy phantom that I can't seem to shake or disappear? I hope this crazy phantom doesn't come after me again because I don't think I can take it a second time.


	2. Chapter 2: Awake at Night

**AN:** Hiya, I had these words spinning in my head so wrote it down. Hope you enjoy! ;)

 **Disclaimer:** Unfortunately I do not own HP characters. J.K.R is the one. *thumbs up*

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Awake at Night

 **~o0o~**

All this time while you've been watching, I could not stop the nightmares I have been having. Each time I walk, I breathe, you're in my head, always screaming. I can't get you out of my head each day I lay my head to rest. Why is it that at night I am awake, thinking about you when all this time I only want to be on my own.

This thing between you and me is getting tiresome indeed. I cannot wait till I have done my duties. For I'm sick of these countless sleepless nights, I don't want to be awake at night. I have plenty of those to spare, soon I hope my discoveries will give me enough to share. It is sad I cannot tell anyone how much turmoil I'm in, I'm beginning to think this errand will turn me in.

These struggles, the paranoia, the mistrust I'm having, it's settling on my skin very thickly and heavily. Everywhere I go, whomever I pass, my mind does not stop spinning. As time passes, my hope is starting to thin, I think you'd find if you looked closely enough, my heart is sinking and my despair is anew, raw and unshaken, unmistakably so. That's why I find myself awake at night; I am dreading the upcoming disaster that awaits me at dawn.

In my head I've drawn this bow and arrow, I'm ready to surrender if I become successful, but during this time I must not falter lest I find myself in the middle of a battleground, with me on the floor motionless, stone dead. The moves I make, the people I hurt on the way, just know that I did not have a choice I could not let my family suffer alone or in any way. Awake at night I always wonder, were the choices I made worth the excitement to be grandeur.

I often think awake at night, what would it have been like if I hadn't offered my serves like they were up for barter. Now that my job here is done, I'm not feeling as proud as I ought to. My smile is forced, my troubles have not vanished. I don't think I'm leaving tonight; my days here are one count over.


	3. Chapter 3: Haunts

**AN:** This little trinket has been playing on my mind for a while now. Hope you enjoy! As always.

 **Disclaimer:** In no way do I own the HP world. The credit goes to J.K! :)

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Haunts

 **~o0o~**

I know a few things,  
of what it's like.  
To be chased,  
from the thing that haunts.

-0-

You wouldn't happen to know.  
What it looks like?  
In daylight.  
What do you know?  
The thing that haunts me is invisible to me.

-0-

This thing you're talking about.  
I'm sure it's not all that bad.  
You have to remember.  
The thing that haunts can't be contained,  
for your safety whatsoever.

-0-

I know your scared,  
of what that thing carries.  
But you have to try and,  
free yourself,  
of all the things that haunts you.

-0-

Do you understand now,  
what you have to do.  
It's simple really.  
Walk through everything that haunts you.

-0-

What did you do to make it go?  
I can't see it returning now.  
Could the thing that haunts me,  
really die.

-0-

What did I tell you about speaking out of fear?  
The thing that haunts is always near.  
Don't ever say it may disappear.  
Because the thing that haunts,  
never stops.  
It continues on, until there is no more.


	4. Chapter 4: Cauldron

**AN:** Hey, thank you for all the reviews. You're awsome as always. Hope you enjoy! :D

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own HP at all. Credits goes to miss J.K.R. You rock! XXX

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Cauldron

 **~o0o~**

Look into the bowl of cauldron.  
There you'll see.  
This picture of me.  
I'm there to take you under.

-0-

Look into the bowl of cauldron.  
I know what you see.  
A black grim.  
There you'll be.  
Death warmed all over.

-0-

Look into the bowl of cauldron.  
It's there you see.  
A fate no one knew.  
Or could begin to fathom.  
It's there no matter.  
What you wonder.

-0-

Look into the bowl of cauldron.  
Tell me, do you see what I see.  
A journey unknown.  
No one would've thought.  
Or given it a single glance.

-0-

Look into the bowl of cauldron.  
This is it.  
The end.


	5. Chapter 5: Liar

**AN:** Thank you for all the reviews. You're the best! XD Hope you enjoy!

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own HP world or its characters. :D

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Liar

 **~o0o~**

When I look at myself.  
Black is all I see.  
My heart stone cold.  
Transparent.  
I'm fine.  
Liar.

-0-

Look at me.  
I am unhinged.  
It's okay.  
My troubles have just started.  
I can get through this.  
Liar.

-0-

Not a problem.  
I will get it done.  
I'll push whoever.  
Comes in my way.  
It will be easy.  
Liar.

-0-

What is wrong?  
I did it right.  
Come on, you can do it.  
Time is of essence.  
I shan't get into a fight.  
Liar.

-0-

I can't hide it.  
I'm defeated.  
Go on!  
Say it!  
I'm a LIAR!


	6. Chapter 6: Privilaged

**Disclaimer:** I don't own HP or its characters. Hope you enjoy!

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 **Privilaged**

 **~o0o~**

You don't know what I know.

This top secret.

If anyone was to know

it would be disasterous.

In the wrong hands

it could be dangerous.

I should know,

I'm always questioned.

Not many people are known to this.

Only the privilaged are in the know.

-0-

All these things you hide from people,

It can get too much

once it lingers and festers in the bloodstream.

There is no amount of control.

You are alone.

Undermined,

and

Privilaged.

-0-

I used to think it was heaven,

but now I wonder if it was real.

My world feels small.

A gap I can't squeeze through.

The ground beneath my feet has collapsed.

If I wasn't privilaged,

I might've been someone else.

-0-

Nobody knows but me.

Around me are bars.

It's made of steel and padlocked.

My heart has long since died.

So what if I have power,

a family is all I need.

It's been bothering me.

This one word, privilaged.

What does it really mean?


End file.
